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The Impact-Money Divide: Why We’re Wired to Chase Profit Over Purpose
"Profit is the lifeblood of any business!"
This said the client, a CEO of a successful startup. "We have to focus on maximizing profits to stay competitive."
As a leadership psychologist, I have observed time and again that people are wired to chase profit over purpose. It's a phenomenon that I see in managing directors, business owners, and entrepreneurs alike. Despite the growing awareness around the importance of purpose and impact, many of us still prioritize profit and financial gain above all else.
But why is this the case? What is it about profit that draws us in so strongly, even when we know that it might not lead to long-term fulfillment and happiness? To answer these questions, let's dive deeper into the impact-money frequency divide.
The Impact-Money Frequency Divide
At its core, the impact-money frequency divide is about the different energetic frequencies that money and impact operate on. Money is often associated with a lower, denser frequency, while impact is associated with a higher, more expansive frequency.
Think about it: when you think about money, what emotions come up for you? Maybe you feel excited or motivated, but you might also feel stressed, anxious, or worried about not having enough. These emotions are rooted in a scarcity mindset, one that is focused on lack rather than abundance.
In contrast, when you think about impact, you might feel a sense of purpose, inspiration, and fulfillment. Impact is about creating positive change in the world, about leaving a lasting legacy that goes beyond financial gain.
So why do we still prioritize money over impact, even when we know that impact is ultimately more fulfilling? There are a few reasons.
The Power of Conditioning
First, we have been conditioned to value money over impact from a young age. Think about the messages we receive from society: the pursuit of wealth and financial success is often celebrated and glamorized, while making a positive impact is seen as secondary.
This conditioning starts early, from the way we are educated to the role models we look up to. It's not surprising, then, that we often default to prioritizing profit over purpose, even when we know that it might not lead to long-term fulfillment.
Fear and Scarcity Mindset
Another reason we prioritize money over impact is fear. When we're driven by fear, we're more likely to fall into a scarcity mindset, one that is focused on survival and making sure we have enough to get by. This mindset can make us hyper-focused on financial gain, even when it comes at the expense of our purpose and values.
8 Ways How Overcoming the Impact-Money Frequency Divide
So how can we overcome the impact-money frequency divide and start prioritizing purpose and impact? It's not easy, but it's possible. Here are a few tips:
1.Adopt a "purpose-first" mentality
Make purpose the driving force behind your business decisions. Start by identifying the positive impact you want to make in the world and let that guide your choices.
2. Create a social impact team
Form a dedicated team within your organization that focuses solely on creating and measuring the impact of your business. This team can work on projects that align with your company's purpose, track and report on impact, and share successes and learnings with the broader organization.
3. Measure impact alongside profit
Create metrics to track your business's impact alongside your financial performance. This will help you see how your actions are affecting your bottom line and your impact on the world.
4. Partner with purpose-driven organizations
Collaborate with other businesses or organizations that share your values and mission. This will help amplify your impact and create more opportunities for purposeful work.
5. Incorporate purpose into your branding
Make purpose a core component of your branding and marketing efforts. This can help attract customers who prioritize sustainability and social responsibility, and create a sense of pride and purpose among your employees.
By implementing these innovative ideas and other creative solutions, business owners, entrepreneurs, and managing directors can overcome the money-impact divide and make a meaningful difference in the world while still running a successful business.
Interested? Let’s work together.
BrainBoss Coaching will help you develop the skills and confidence you need to achieve your goals.
My goal as a leadership coach is to unlock your full potential AND restore balance to your life and work.
So you can be more productive at work, more effective in leadership, and more balanced in life.
No matter where you are in the world, the sessions are held online on a secured health line.
Contact me today to learn how I can help make things better! www.brainbossmethod.com
5 Ways How to Reprogram Your Mind for Success
From Self-Doubt to Self-Confidence
As a business owner, entrepreneur, or managing director, you know that your thoughts and beliefs shape your reality.
But what happens when those thoughts and beliefs are holding you back, limiting your potential, or causing you unnecessary stress and anxiety?
Research in psychology shows that our thoughts and beliefs influence our emotions, behaviors, and even physical health. Negative thought patterns and limiting beliefs can lead to stress, anxiety, and low self-esteem, making it difficult to take risks or make decisions with confidence.
The good news is that your brain is capable of change. Through the process of neuroplasticity, you can reprogram your thoughts and beliefs for greater success in business and life.
Here are some practical tips to help you get started:
1.Identify negative thought patterns
The first step in reprogramming your thoughts is to become aware of negative thought patterns that hold you back. These may include limiting beliefs about your abilities, fear of failure or success, or self-doubt.
Once you've identified these patterns, you can start to challenge and replace them with more positive and empowering thoughts.
2. Practice positive affirmations
Positive affirmations are a powerful tool for reprogramming your thoughts and beliefs. Start by creating a list of positive affirmations that resonate with you, such as "I am capable of achieving my business goals" or "I trust myself to make the right decisions".
Repeat these affirmations to yourself daily, either silently or out loud, to reinforce positive beliefs and override negative ones.
3. Seek support from a coach or therapist
Working with a coach or therapist who specializes in cognitive-behavioral therapy can be an effective way to reprogram your thoughts and beliefs. These professionals can help you identify negative thought patterns, challenge them, and replace them with more positive and empowering beliefs.
They can also provide support and accountability as you work towards your business goals.
4. Practice mindfulness
Mindfulness is the practice of being present and fully engaged in the moment. By practicing mindfulness, you can become more aware of your thoughts and feelings and learn to observe them without judgment.
This can help you identify negative thought patterns and replace them with more positive ones.
5. Visualize success
Visualization is a powerful technique for reprogramming your thoughts and beliefs. Visualize yourself achieving your business goals, feeling confident and successful.
The more vivid and detailed your visualization, the more powerful it will be in helping you reprogram your thoughts and beliefs.
In conclusion, reprogramming your thoughts and beliefs is a key step towards achieving success in business and life.
By identifying negative thought patterns, practicing positive affirmations, seeking support from a coach or therapist, practicing mindfulness, and visualizing success, you can overcome limiting beliefs and achieve your full potential.
Remember, your brain is capable of change. With the right mindset and tools, you can reprogram your thoughts and beliefs for greater success in all areas of your life.
Silke Glaab is a coaching psychologist who helps professionals and organizations unleash their full potential and overcome challenges.
Interested? Let’s work together.
BrainBoss Coaching will help you develop the skills and confidence you need to achieve your goals.
My goal as a leadership coach is to unlock your full potential AND restore balance to your life and work.
So you can be more productive at work, more effective in leadership, and more balanced in life.
No matter where you are in the world, the sessions are held online on a secured health line.
Contact me today to learn how I can help make things better! www.brainbossmethod.com
From Vision to Action: A Guide How To Set Higher Goals
Are you feeling stuck in your personal or professional life? Perhaps you've been setting short-term and long-term goals, but you're still not finding the fulfillment and impact you're looking for. It's time to consider setting higher goals.
As a leadership coach, I've seen firsthand the importance of setting goals for success and impact. In this article, I'll share practical steps to help you set higher goals and make a meaningful impact in your life and business.
What are Higher Goals?
Higher goals are those that align with your values and purpose and have the potential to create a significant impact in your life, business, and the world. They are typically broader and more meaningful than short-term or long-term goals and require a higher level of commitment and focus.
Examples of higher goals could be launching a sustainable business that makes a positive impact on the environment, volunteering regularly to help others, or becoming an expert in a field that you're passionate about.
Why Set Higher Goals?
Setting higher goals can have a profound impact on your life and business. Pursuing a higher goal that aligns with your values and purpose can help you find greater meaning and fulfillment in your work.
It can also help you enter a state of flow, where you're fully engaged and performing at your best. Higher goals can give you a sense of direction and purpose that can help you overcome obstacles and stay motivated, even when faced with challenges.
How to Set Higher Goals?
Step 1: Define Your Values and Purpose
To set higher goals, you need to first define your values and purpose. What is it that drives you and makes you feel fulfilled? What are your core values and beliefs?
Take some time to reflect on these questions, as this will help you identify what higher goals align with your life's purpose.
Step 2: Set Your Higher Goal
Once you've defined your values and purpose, it's time to set your higher goal. This should be a goal that's aligned with your values and purpose and has the potential to create a significant impact.
Make sure your goal is specific, measurable, and attainable, so you can break it down into smaller, more manageable goals.
Step 3: Break Down Your Goal
Breaking down your higher goal into smaller, more achievable goals is critical to making progress. Start by identifying specific actions you can take to achieve your higher goal.
Create a timeline for each action and hold yourself accountable by tracking your progress.
Step 4: Find Your Support System
Setting higher goals can be challenging, and having a support system can make all the difference. Surround yourself with people who share your vision and can help you stay accountable.
Seek out mentors or coaches who can offer guidance and support along the way.
Step 5: Celebrate Your Wins
It's important to celebrate your wins along the way. Celebrating your progress and accomplishments can help you stay motivated and focused on achieving your higher goal.
Don't forget to reflect on the impact you're making and the purpose behind your goals.
In conclusion, setting higher goals that align with your values and purpose can be transformational. By following these steps and implementing your higher goals in your daily life, you can unlock your full potential and make a lasting impact in your life, business, and the world.
So take action today and start setting higher goals that will transform your life and the world around you.
Interested? Let’s work together.
BrainBoss Coaching will help you develop the skills and confidence you need to achieve your goals.
My goal as a leadership coach is to unlock your full potential AND restore balance to your life and work.
So you can be more productive at work, more effective in leadership, and more balanced in life.
No matter where you are in the world, the sessions are held online on a secured health line.
Contact me today to learn how I can help make things better! www.brainbossmethod.com
Leadership Coaching: The Secret To Taking Your Business to the Next Level
Are you Stuck in Your Leadership Role? The Top Reasons Why Even Successful Leaders Seek Outside Coaching.
It's time to challenge the common belief that successful leaders don't need coaching. While it's true that many top leaders have achieved great success on their own, the truth is that even the best of the best can benefit from outside guidance and support. In fact, it's often the most successful leaders who recognize the importance of investing in their own growth and development.
As a leadership psychologist, I've worked with many managing directors, business owners, and entrepreneurs who are looking to take their careers to the next level. And while these individuals are all successful in their own right, many of them have recognized the value of seeking outside coaching to help them achieve their goals.
What are the Benefits and Oucomes Of Leadership Coaching?
1.Get an outside perspective: When you're in a leadership role, it can be difficult to see the forest for the trees. A coach can help you step back and see the bigger picture, and offer fresh perspectives and insights that you might not have considered before.
2. Develop new skills: No one is born knowing how to be a great leader. Coaching can help you identify areas for improvement and develop new skills that will help you be more effective in your role.
3. Navigate difficult situations: As a leader, you'll inevitably face challenges and obstacles. A coach can help you work through these situations, providing guidance and support along the way.
4. Stay accountable: When you're in a leadership position, it's easy to get pulled in a million different directions. Coaching can help you stay focused on your goals and hold you accountable.
But despite the numerous benefits of coaching, many leaders still believe that they don't need outside help. They may think that they already know everything there is to know about leadership. Or that seeking help is a sign of weakness. Some may even be afraid to confront their own limitations or vulnerabilities.
If you're a successful leader who thinks you don't need coaching, it's time to challenge your own assumptions.
Ask yourself: What could I achieve if I had a fresh perspective on my leadership style? How could I improve if I had someone to help me navigate difficult situations and challenges? By being open to coaching, you may just discover new levels of success that you never thought possible.
In my experience, the leaders who are most successful in coaching are those who are open-minded, willing to take risks, and committed to growth. They're not afraid to confront their own limitations or seek outside help, and they understand that there's always room for improvement.
So if you're a managing director, business owner, or entrepreneur looking to take your career or business to the next level, consider investing in coaching. It could be the best decision you ever make.
Interested? Let’s work together.
BrainBoss Coaching will help you develop the skills and confidence you need to achieve your goals.
My goal as a leadership coach is to unlock your full potential AND restore balance to your life and work.
So you can be more productive at work, more effective in leadership, and more balanced in life.
No matter where you are in the world, the sessions are held online on a secured health line.
Contact me today to learn how I can help make things better! www.brainbossmethod.com
4 Proven Tips to Set Healthy Boundaries and Avoid Burnout
"Are You Making This Mistake in Your Business? Discover the Surprising Reason Why Setting Boundaries is Key to Success"
As a leadership psychologist with years of experience working with business owners and entrepreneurs, I've seen firsthand how easy it is to neglect personal boundaries in pursuit of success.
But here's the thing: not setting healthy boundaries can actually be detrimental to your business, your personal life, and your overall well-being.
You might be thinking, "But isn't success all about hard work and dedication?" While those traits are important, they're not the only ones that matter. In fact, neglecting personal boundaries can lead to burnout, strained relationships, and a lack of fulfillment.
What does neglecting personal boundaries look like in daily life?
Here are a few examples:
- Working long hours and neglecting personal relationships
- Failing to prioritize self-care activities, such as exercise, meditation, or hobbies
- Checking email and taking work-related calls during personal time
- Overcommitting to projects or tasks, and feeling overwhelmed as a result
If any of these sound familiar, it's time to take action. Setting healthy boundaries is key to success, and it's never too late to start.
Why do so many entrepreneurs struggle with setting boundaries?
It comes down to three factors: focus, belief and human behaviour.
In the past, many business owners focused solely on hard skills, business processes, and strategies. While those are important, they don't always address the core issues behind problems.
They often believe that success requires them to be available 24/7, neglecting their own needs and relationships in the process.
That's why I've shifted my focus to identifying the underlying issue, and guiding clients towards sustainable changes in their behavior.
Through my work, I've seen firsthand the transformation that can happen when entrepreneurs prioritize setting healthy boundaries. Not only does it lead to increased productivity and fulfillment, but it also strengthens personal relationships and overall well-being.
4 Ways to set Healthy Boundaries
1.Prioritize self-care: Make time for self-care activities, such as exercise, meditation, or hobbies, to ensure that you're taking care of your mental and physical health.
2. Set boundaries with technology: Limit your use of technology outside of work hours and avoid checking email or taking work-related calls during personal time.
3. Learn to say no: Saying no can be difficult, but it's important to set boundaries around your time and commitments. This can help you prioritize your own needs and prevent burnout.
4. Communicate your boundaries: Let your team know when you're available and when you're not, and encourage them to respect your boundaries. Communicating your boundaries can also help you build stronger relationships with loved ones
Remember, setting healthy boundaries is not a one-time event. It takes practice and dedication to maintain them. But the benefits of doing so are well worth it. So, take action today and start setting healthy boundaries for a more fulfilling, successful, and well-balanced life.
Interested? Let’s work together.
BrainBoss Coaching will help you develop the skills and confidence you need to achieve your goals.
My goal as a leadership coach is to unlock your full potential AND restore balance to your life and work.
So you can be more productive at work, more effective in leadership, and more balanced in life.
No matter where you are in the world, the sessions are held online on a secured health line.
Contact me today to learn how I can help make things better! www.brainbossmethod.com
The Need For A Life Purpose And Compass
It's Exhausting Without Direction
James (name changed for privacy) is an entrepreneur in his mid-thirties who approached me with the following issue: “I have been lacking clarity and guidance for a long time, and it’s time to clean up my mental mess and get some tools and guidance and an action plan. I often don’t get the reward for all the things I do, or I pay for it with stress and poor health.”
James felt powerless without clarity, and things were just happening to and not through him.
People often struggle when they have not found their purpose in life. This is what I understood was happening with him.
What Is Purpose In Life?
In psychology, purpose in life (PIL) is a robust intention to accomplish something that is personally meaningful and at the same time to contribute productively to the greater good. In other words, not only search for your meaning in life, but also make a difference in the world beyond yourself.
This definition of PIL implies that you have a personal value system to define what is meaningful for you and the motivation to accomplish something in the future.
Benefits Of Life Purpose
“What’s the benefit of knowing your life purpose?” you wonder. Turns out knowing your meaning in life is good for your physical and mental well-being.
Studies in psychology and neuroscience have found that having a life purpose can have powerful health outcomes: lower risk of cardiovascular diseases, a calming effect on immune system activity and enhanced recovery from negative events.
All important health factors — whether you’re running a Fortune 500 company, an entrepreneur or a high-level professional.
Another important aspect of PIL is that a sense of purpose in one’s career is correlated with both greater satisfaction at work as well as better work-related outputs.
Imagine you’re a hospital cleaner. Day in and day out you perform the same basic tasks. Let’s assume you just see yourself as a janitor in the hospital. How would you feel then? Would it affect your mood? How would you score your job satisfaction?
Most of us would feel depressed, with low job satisfaction.
Let’s assume that you see yourself as part of the overall healing process and you see your role as a healing function. How would you feel then? Would it affect your mood? How would you score your job satisfaction?
This is exactly a situation psychologists investigated. They learned that cleaners who saw their role as part of healing function were more satisfied and spent more time with patients, worked more closely with doctors and nurses and found more meaning in their jobs compared to the cleaners who just considered themselves as janitors.
What is so remarkable in these findings is that seeing yourself as part of the greater good determines your well-being and performance. If cleaners in a hospital find a purpose in their work, we can begin to appreciate the positions we are holding within our organizations.
Explore Your Purpose In Life
I normally start the process with the question: “Who are you?” and repeat the question until clients strip away surface definitions of profession, family or gender to go deeper and deeper to their inner essence — the core of their existence.
This is a good starting point for defining your PIL.
Practice 1: Know what matters.
Values are statements about what we want to strive or aim for on a continuous basis. There are guiding principles like beliefs and goals that are important and emotionally positive for us. Values are highly individualized.
Values are like a compass that gives us direction toward our PIL and keeps us on track while we’re traveling. Using your values in this way will guide you in choosing actions and making decisions that are aligned with your core values and rejecting actions that are not aligned with them.
One exercise to define your values is “Imagine your 80th birthday.” Two or more people make speeches about who you are and what you stand for, what you mean to them and what role you have played in their life. In your ideal world, where you have lived according to your values and beliefs, what qualities are they mentioning about you?
Write down the qualities that are said. Write down at least 20 to 25 words. Now cross out the words you don’t resonate with as much. Narrow down the list to five or fewer words. Now find a tagline that combines all the remaining words.
Some examples: wise counsel (mine); focus - develop - raise up (James')
Practice 2: Recall what you loved to do.
Recall what you loved to do as a child between the ages of 7 and 14. This is the time your talents emerged and were often shuttered by demands from school and parents. You can also ask your siblings, parents and friends what you loved to do and what made you thrilled.
This exercise will reconnect you with your true desires and what you wanted to do in your life.
Practice 3: Know your strengths.
I ask all my clients to do the CliftonStrengths assessment. It is a great tool to understand ways you most naturally think, feel and behave.
From here you can align your values and actions in complete harmony.
James revealed the guiding system "focus - develop - raise up." As a child, he always loved to build things. When asked to connect this passion to his business he realized that he is not the one who will maintain a business but will start one. His core strengths were completely aligned with his direction: futuristic, developer, focus.
With this awareness, he was able to restructure his business in a way that acknowledged his strengths and to create a business that brings joy and beauty to the world.
Source: The article was first published on Forbes on 13. Dec 2021
Interested? Let’s work together.
Are you facing a moment of transition, are self-sabotage, crippling procrastination or perfectionism preventing your success or are you are a stressed-out "achievement junkie"?
Could it help you to speak to a professional?
My goal as an executive coach is to reveal your mental & emotional blocks AND apply your strengths & skills. No matter where you are in the world, the sessions are held online on a secured health line.
With my unique ground-breaking BrainBoss Method you are able to uncover the deeper roots of thoughts, feelings and behaviour AND instantly Rewire your brain for success ad well-being.
An over 15-years career in counselling and coaching provides you a safe space for your personal transformation.
Contact me today to learn how I can help make things better! www.brainbossmethod.com
Imposter is Ruining your Success
How To Beat Imposter Syndrome For Good
I GOT A PROMOTION AND I START PANICKING ABOUT IT.
I’m offered a new and higher position. I have been working towards this position for a long time. And the moment I got the offer, I froze. And do you know what I tell myself: “Hopefully nobody from the management team finds out that I cannot do it very well.” Viewed objectively: B.S. Otherwise I would have not gotten this promotion. I have the academic degrees, the right work experience and great references. But it lingers in my mind that I’m undeserving of this promotion.
Can you help?
Dear Anonymous,
Doubting ourselves is normal. Most people have thoughts like “Am I good enough?” or “Do I deserve this?” However, these kinds of thoughts can become problematic if you start to believe you’re a fraud and compulsively hide your accomplishments under a bushel.
This phoneme is called Impostor syndrome and describes high-achieving individuals who, despite their objective successes, fail to internalise their accomplishments and have persistent self-doubt and fear of being exposed as an intellectual imposter. They attribute success to external factors like luck or help from others while considering setbacks as evidence of their inadequacy.
Research shows that it can affect both men and women from all ethnic backgrounds.
During my years as an executive coach I’ve worked with dozens of clients who suffered from imposter syndrome. The biggest psychological barrier my clients had to overcome was that failing to attribute their performance to their actual competence impacted their mood and mindset in conscious and unconscious ways.
This affected their overall work experience (feeling always pressured to work harder, feeling demotivated, inner resignation) and their satisfaction with life.
That’s why it’s important to get a handle on the emotional and psychological factors that could be hindering your success and well being so you can understand and correct them.
Imposter Syndrome often comes with low self esteem anxiety and fear of failure.
The key to overcoming imposter syndrome is to regain a sense of control — because feeling in control is the direct opposite of being trapped in negative self doubts.
5 Ways to Overcome Imposter Syndrome!
1. HONOUR YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS
Write a journal every evening and list three positive work experiences. It is important to highlight your qualities and competencies. Ask yourself: “What kind of competence did I use today to accomplish a specific task or achieve a specific goal?” Do this exercise for two weeks to boost your self-esteem. It may feel very unfamiliar in the beginning to honour your achievements. Do it anyway.
2. LEARN TO RECEIVE POSITIVE FEEDBACK
Set yourself the goal to tolerate compliments or gifts, even if they make you uncomfortable (and they will). The best way to avoid your reflex of shoving off compliments is to prepare some responses and learn to use them immediately whenever you get positive feedback (promised you will feel like a robot). Responses can be: “Thank you” or “How kind of you to say that”.
3. PRACTICE SELF COMPASSION
Imposter comes with an addition: that critical voice in your head (that mostly bothers you with useless chatter). One way to deal with your inner critic is to replace it with self compassion. Would you talk to someone else or your children the way you talk to yourself? Hopefully not. So whenever the inner critic starts talking, turn it around and ask yourself what would you say to a dear friend or your child if they were in your situation.
4. CONTROL THE SHOW
Another way to deal with your critical voice is to tame it. How? Just put your negative self judgement into a short sentence: “I'm a fraud.” and hold onto this belief for 10 seconds. Now inside your head silently sing this thought to the melody of “Happy Birthday.” Or hear the sentence in the voice of Mickey Mouse or your favourite actor/actress. What happens when you do so?
5. LIST YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS
Listing all your accomplishments and the skills you used will remind you that you did not reach them by accident (therefore make a note for every accomplishment in which external factors helped you). You can even go a step further and write to every competence additional evidence to make your competencies and skills bulletproof to your inner judge.
Overcoming your Imposter Syndrome requires work, as it involves developing and maintaining healthier emotional habits but doing so, and especially doing so correctly, will provide a great emotional and psychological return on your investment. If it is too much work for you or you don't manage to overcome it on your own reach for professional help. The BrainBoss Method can help.
Interested? Let’s work together.
Are you facing a moment of transition, are self-sabotage, crippling procrastination or perfectionism preventing your success or are you are a stressed-out "achievement junkie"?
Could it help you to speak to a professional?
My goal as an executive coach is to reveal your mental & emotional blocks AND apply your strengths & skills. No matter where you are in the world, the sessions are held online on a secured health line.
With my unique ground-breaking BrainBoss Method you are able to uncover the deeper roots of thoughts, feelings and behaviour AND instantly Rewire your brain for success ad well-being.
An over 15-years career in counselling and coaching provides you a safe space to for your personal transformation.
Contact me today to learn how I can help make things better! www.brainbossmethod.com
I’m A Serial Procrastinator
The Function and Reason Behind your Procrastination
I am a serial procrastinator.
I have been very successful in my career. I am currently attending a programme to pave my way into my own business, but I don’t follow through. I don’t post or make a video to become visible. Suddenly I have all other things to do (though I don’t need to) like washing clothes, organising club meetings or talking to my adult kids and solving their problems. This behaviour can go on for days and weeks.
What makes me do this? I think something in my head prevents me from working on my tasks. Something in my head blocks me and I don’t know what it is.
I feel so guilty about procrastinating and at the same time I feel relieved that I do not need to expose myself. Can you help?
Dear Anonymous,
Know that you’re not alone with it. Procrastinating is actually quite common among humans. No need to feel guilty. But your question isn’t actually about guilt; it’s about the behaviour that provokes it — why you want to create something for yourself, yet get so uncomfortable when you have to expose yourself and your idea that you don’t post.
You speak about that something in your head is blocking you.
There are several reasons, behavioural and psychological ones, that can explain such a mental block.
Washing clothes, organising club meetings etc. have one function in common: Escape the adverse situation. And feeling a relief by avoiding it, reinforces your procrastination. “Yeah I am free!” And I believe that the host of the programme isn’t penalising you for not following through.
While this explains the function of your behaviour, it does not explain the source of your avoidance. You write that you decided to work for yourself and invested into a programme and yet you choose to attend to tasks of others and not yours.
This emotional conflict about posting - it often has to do with your underlying self-definition, your basic sense of who you believe yourself to be. Common thoughts are “Am I good/talented/skilled enough?” “What if it won’t work?” “What if people reject me?”
Most humans have such thoughts. In our childhood and adolescence we had bad experiences that felt horrible and anxious and we had little to do about it. Those experiences formed a definition about ourselves.
From there we went into higher education and start a career path. That’s when we realise that we have strong skills, and that bad things rarely happen and if they happen we are able to cope with them. And you mentioned that you are very successful in your career. I guess you gained skills that prompted you to start your business.
Transitioning from working for someone else to working for yourself with full accountability, is quite unpredictable and unfamiliar. Often in such situations our default emotional reactions we developed in childhood and adolescence surface despite the changes and growth we developed. We avoid experiencing failure and stay in safe mode.
These discrepancies usually mean that our underlying self-definition has not fully incorporated our adult realities into our sense of self.
What Can you do to Overcome the Underlying Source of your Procrastination?
Update your self identity programme. This means acknowledging that you are not the child of the past anymore, but an adult who has newer strengths and capabilities.
Here’s what I suggest.
Remind yourself of the greater why of your business. Do you want to help others in a specific skill and capability that you are strong in? Do you want to provide this safe learning space for others? I assume you say yes. So every time your child self wants to avoid posting and feels overwhelmed, remind yourself of your why and your skills.
This inner voice may say: “Don’t do this. People will see you as a fraud.” or “Leave it. You will fail!” or “You are narcissistic posting about yourself.”
And your adult self may respond: “I hear you. It is possible that I will fail, but the probability is very low. In such a case I use the outcome as a feedback to learn from it and enhance my skills and capabilities.” Or “That’s a good point. But now I choose to work on my business because it is not only about me, but all the people who will benefit from my skills as did my previous employer.”
Most importantly inform your inner voice about all your skills your adult self has. Better list them in a journal and choose one skill every day and write an abstract about how this skill has shown up at work and life. This will prove to your subconscious mind that you indeed have skills as an adult now. If you want to take it a step further you can rewrite the narrative of your life. Write about all the ways you matured and developed and overcame challenges that contrasts any of your fears and doubts.
With the BrainBoss Method you will be able to update your self identity on the fast lane. Together we will go back to events in your childhood and adolescence in which you learnt the first self concepts about yourself. You will be able to change the programming from the source and replace it with more supportive thoughts and behaviour. This will allow you to create different outcomes and new learning in your life. How? New beliefs about yourself will allow you to behave differently from your default actions.
There is hope for your procrastination. Updating your sense of identity by acknowledging your skills and capabilities will reduce your anxiety, which in turn will reduce your avoidance behaviour… releasing the block in your head so that you contribute something important to the world: Your skills and strengths.
Interested? Let’s work together.
Are you facing a moment of transition, are self-sabotage, crippling procrastination or perfectionism preventing your success or are you are a stressed-out "achievement junkie"?
Could it help you to speak to a professional?
My goal as an executive coach is to reveal your mental & emotional blocks AND apply your strengths & skills. No matter where you are in the world, the sessions are held online on a secured health line.
With my unique ground-breaking BrainBoss Method you are able to uncover the deeper roots of thoughts, feelings and behaviour AND instantly Rewire your brain for success ad well-being.
An over 15-years career in counselling and coaching provides you a safe space to for your personal transformation.
Contact me today to learn how I can help make things better! www.brainbossmethod.com
How To Find Your True Self: 7 Ways To Reveal it.
How To Find Your True Self
Your true self is the part of you that is constant. It transcends your body, emotions, and experiences. It is the essence of you.
How would you describe yourself? You might declare that you are Susan, wife of Bob, a pharmaceutical sales rep, and have Scottish ancestry.
However, if you had been named Beth, married a guy named Steve, worked as a nurse and had Irish ancestors, you would still be the same person you are now. Your life and experiences might be different, but you would still be fundamentally the same person.
There’s something about you that’s constant, though it’s hard to describe exactly what that is.
Who are you?
One thing is for certain: when you’re living a life that aligns with your true self, you’re going to be happy. If you’re not living a life that resonates with your true self, you’ll feel like something is lacking. It doesn’t matter how much success, fortune, and fame you achieve if your true self isn’t honored.
Try these ideas to discover your true self and reveal your path in life:
- What is your level of introversion / extroversion? Do you feel more energized and comfortable when alone or with others? When are you at your best?
- If you’re naturally introverted, a job that requires interacting with people all day long is going to create a lot of stress and anxiety.
- Spending time alone in a cubicle working on a computer might drive you crazy if you’re extroverted.
- What did you like as a child that you still like today? It might be baseball, Scooby-Doo cartoons, pizza, and afternoon naps. Dig deeper than that. You might find that you’ve always craved adventure, creativity, and helping others. Think about the characteristics and qualities in your life that have been constant.
- If you could accomplish anything, what do you think would be your greatest accomplishment? Is it earning a billion dollars or winning a Nobel Peace Prize? Maybe it’s writing a best-selling book or adopting a disadvantaged child. What do you think is the greatest accomplishment a person can have?
- What do you consider to be the most important lessons you could teach a child? What do you wish you had known when you were 10-20 years of age? What could you have known that would have made your life more meaningful?
- What would you do with great wealth? After you bought a mansion and a fancy car, what would you do with your life? What would you do with your free time and extensive financial resources?
- Who are your heroes? Albert Einstein? John D. Rockefeller? Mother Teresa? Whom do you look up to? Why? Whose life would you most like to emulate? Whom would you be most proud to be like?
- Think about who you have been. Sometimes we get too caught up in who we want to be and ignore who we are. You might dream of being a Rockstar, but can’t carry a tune, can’t play an instrument, and suffer from panic attacks when faced with an audience. We all have to accept our limitations.
- It’s important to make the most of your life but be realistic about who you are.
- What are your natural strengths and weaknesses? Likes and dislikes?
You can’t create your true self. You can only discover, acknowledge, and accept it.
Whatever your true self might be, you can be sure that it’s spectacular. It’s your job to reveal it to yourself and then honor it. Run with your interests and strengths. Avoid worrying about your dislikes and weaknesses. Honor yourself and enjoy your life.
For coaching, workshops and speaking. Please feel free to contact me here: brainbossmethod.com
